January 8, 2015

The Kiss — a 10-item list.

1. After writing the last post — focusing on 2 magazine covers depicting a kiss — made me want to write a blog devoted to the kiss. It would be easy to keep a Google alert on the word "kiss" and blog every day on whatever miscellany relating to kissing happened to come up. I considered starting a new blog, but kiss.blogspot.com, kissblog.blogspot.com, and thekissblog.blogspot.com were all taken, so this post is a rough draft of what that blog would have been.

2. A Google news search on "kiss" brings up something I should already have blogged: Joe Biden, swearing in a Senator (Chris Coons) and wrangling various family members into good photo-op positions, got a little too cozy with a modest/nervous little girl and guessed wrong when he decided that a little cheek nuzzling would loosen her up. Reactions varied from "Holy Hell Would Be Unleashed On 'Handsy' Joe Biden If He Were Conservative" to "Awesome Little Girl Rejects Biden's Kiss At Senate Swearing-In." Hey, Joe, no means no... Mr. Violence Against Women Act.

3. Remember your first kiss? Kid Rock does — or is able to strain his voice Jack-and-Diane style in various assertions to that effect in this new video "First Kiss":



"And now these days when I drive through a small town/I turn my stereo up and roll my windows down/’Cause it reminds me of my first kiss/And those days that I always miss/Tom Petty on the radio." Tom Petty gets a big shout-out. Seems like John Cougar Mellencamp deserves a nod (or a peck on the cheek).

4. Kiss cam variations... including the deepest deep kiss:



5. "KISS frontman Gene Simmons... is as ubiquitous as ever with a reality-television show and a recent book on his business philosophy called 'Me Inc'" and a new restaurant in Oviedo called Rock and Brews. Quote: "You are alive, and you are supposed to keep moving... I'm 65, and, boy, do I look great."

6. "Tell me about the Root kiss. Was that a big gift for the fans?... Did you think it was a 'Goodbye forever' kiss, or a 'Shut up, I’ll be back' kiss?" Apparently, there's a TV show called "Person of Interest" and there was a kiss that made a big impression — "a much-anticipated kiss between the show’s electrifying women." What was so big about it? It can't just be that 2 women kissed on TV or even that 2 electrifying women kissed on TV. In the first nonplatonic 2-woman kiss the women were electrifying: Sharon Stone Mariel Hemingway and Rosanne Barr. "Television critic Frank Rich of The New York Times called 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' 'a small step forward for the stirring of homosexuals into the American melting pot' and a 'sophisticated half-hour [that] turned homophobia on its ear.'" The year was 1994.

7. The previous post — the post that got me started on this list — discussed a Charlie Hebdo cover showing 2 men kissing which I assumed was an intentional allusion to the famous New Yorker cover showing a Jewish man and a black woman kissing, and Meade said: "You know what else you should have included?" I said: "Brancusi's 'The Kiss'?"



No, he was thinking of the famous photograph of a sailor kissing a nurse: "V-J Day in Times Square" by Alfred Eisenstaedt. Scanning my Google image search results, I saw Gustav Klimt's "The Kiss" and said: "As ubiquitous as Gene Simmons." No, I said: "How many dorm rooms have you seen this in?" And "There's also that Rodin."

8. For a less famous, less over-liked artwork called the kiss, consider Tino Sehgal's "The Kiss": "On the [Guggenheim Museum's] ground floor, a man and woman entwine in a changing, slow-motion amorous embrace.... As choreography it will hold no surprises for anyone familiar with contemporary dance. Taken as living sculpture, it has amusing moments: every so often, the performers strike erotic poses derived from Courbet, Rodin, Brancusi and Jeff Koons." I'd already thought of Rodin and Brancusi, but let's check out the Courbet and the Koons.

9. Hey, Koons (#8) and Coons (#2). It's like the stars are in alignment. Is there a constellation called The Kiss? No, but The Arctic Monkeys sang: "And her lips are like the galaxy's edge/And her kiss the color of a constellation falling into place."

10. "Kiss" is a very old word in English. The OED — giving the first meaning as "A touch or pressure given with the lips... in token of affection, greeting, or reverence; a salute or caress given with the lips" — has the oldest appearance of the word circa 1000:
Ælfric Homilies II. 32   Ic hine to minum cosse arærde.
I don't read English well enough to understand that, but the language becomes more recognizable by the 1380s, when a translated Bible had: "Kisse he me with the cos of his mowth." And here's a great poet: "Ah why refuse the blameless bliss? Can danger lurk within a kiss?"

29 comments:

chickelit said...

Tangentially, a kiss can have mathematical precision:

The Kiss Precise

Bob Ellison said...

I remember several kisses. A high-school girl kissed me spontaneously on the cheek as we walked down a hallway. That was really nice. I first kissed my wife at the end of a brief hike up a mountain, after we found some wild strawberries. My youngest son gives spontaneous kisses to his brothers and his parents, and those kisses are soft and sweet.

Meade said...

The famous kiss documented by Jan Hoffman, NYT, April 3, 2009.

mikeski said...

Re: No. 6

There was a lesbian kiss on L.A. Law in 1991.

Also, the kiss in the Roseanne episode was between Roseanne and Mariel Hemingway, who played a character named Sharon.

jacksonjay said...

"...got a little too cozy with a modest/nervous little girl and guessed wrong when he decided that a little cheek nuzzling would loosen her up."

Really, that's the way you saw it?

"Hey, Joe, no means no..."

I'm speechless!

Wonder if Creeper Joe nuzzles Sasha and Malia? Why hasn't Dr. Jill or Michelle kicked Joe in the nuts, a long time ago? Did you watch the little girls Mom? The Senator never flinched, but Mom was mortified! The little girl is a victim if there ever was a victim! Althouse and that Marshall idiot seem to think this was just the harmless old fool being Joe!

BTW, this little girl was not the only victim on Tuesday.

Laslo Spatula said...

From Hershey's site:

HERSHEY'S KISSES Brand Chocolates were first introduced in 1907. It's not known exactly how they received their name, but a popular theory is that the candy was named for the sound or motion of the chocolate being deposited during manufacturing."

Thank goodness the machine didn't make a 'splooging' sound.

I am Laslo.

Ann Althouse said...

"Also, the kiss in the Roseanne episode was between Roseanne and Mariel Hemingway, who played a character named Sharon."

Oh!

Corrected.

Funny mistake. There's only one Sharon. The one and only Sharon.

Anyway, Mariel Hemingway...

She made that pretty awful movie "Personal Best" (about lesbian athletes, if I remember correctly) back in 1982, 11 years before the Roseanne episode.

Anonymous said...

I wanna mock and troll all night, and Charlie every day.

traditionalguy said...

It's in the kiss. That's how you will know. This is also called having chemistry.

But first you have to kiss many a frog.

Guildofcannonballs said...

At least Joe didn't drive her off a bridge and then not give a shit if she drowns or not.

Deviancy has been defined down for Slow Joe by his mentors and heros for so long at some point, like Baxyer eating an entire cheese tray and pepperoni pizza, you have to be amazed he hasn't gotten caught like his kids with drugs and rabble-rousers.

traditionalguy said...

But watch out for an Atlanta Hawks kiss. It eats you up, and then leads the NBA using no known players. Which reminds us carnivorous birds are the descendants of Dinosaurs.

Left Bank of the Charles said...

There's the Columbo episode where he retrains the dogs to kiss instead of kill.

David said...

Cissy Schade!

First.

FullMoon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Richard Lawrence Cohen said...

In honor of Paris: "The Kiss at the Hotel de Ville," by Robert Doisneau:

https://iconicphotos.wordpress.com/2009/05/08/le-baiser-de-lhotel-de-ville/

Meade said...

Bob and Mary (blogged here.)

Laslo Spatula said...

On a porn set in a warehouse somewhere in San Bernardino...

Brianna: "Oooooh! Ooo-Ooooooh!"

Woody: "Uhngh! Eeeee-Uhnghhhhh!"

Director: "Now Brianna, we've done doggy-style, froggy-style and missionary: I want you to turn around on Woody, reverse-cowlgirl, that's right, don't miss a beat..."

Woody: ""Uhngh! Oh, baby, yeah! "Uhngh!"

Brianna: "Ahhhh! Oooooh! Ooo-Ooooooh!"

Director: "Brianna, you're a Star! Now Woody, pull your penis out and put it in Brianna's ass!"

Woody: "Oh baby, I'm gonna put my dick in your ass! Uhngh!"

Brianna: "Ohhhhhhhh! Oooooh! Ooo-Ooooooh!"

Director: "Brianna, the camera LOVES you! Smile big, then remove Woody's penis from your ass and go down on it!"

Woody: "Oh baby, that's right! I'm your Poppa!"

Brianna: Snuuurf! Schluuff-Schluufffff!"

Director: "C,mom Brianna, let's make it messy! I wanna see saliva, I wanna see slobber: you want nothing more than to suck his dick after he had it in your ass!"

Woody: "Oh baby, you're so gooooood..."

Brianna: Snorgle! Schussss-urphh! Urphh!"

Director: "That's IT, Brianna! Now slide your mouth up from his penis and give Woody a kiss!"

Woody: "Um. What?"

Director: "Brianna's going to give you a kiss!"

Woody: "That isn't going to happen."

Director: "But it will be sensual, Woody: that is why we are HERE."

Woody: "But my dick was in her ass, then in her mouth: I'm not kissing that."

Director: "Woody, you're a Professional: you've had anal sex with a 9-months-pregnant woman, you've had sex with dwarves and given Golden Showers to amputees and hot chicks coked out of their minds --"

Brianna: "-- I would like some more coke --"

Woody: "At least have her brush her teeth!

Director: "That would ruin the integrity of the scene! We would lose all the intimacy we have so carefully set up!"

Brianna: "I think I need to floss, too."

Woody: "I'm NOT kissing THAT mouth."

Director: "Woody, this is essential to the emotions of the scene --"

Woody: "Her lips smell like ass, lip gloss and Chipotle --"

Brianna: "--that's funny! I had Chipotle last night!"

Director: "Focus, people: focus!"

Woody: "Why don't you bring in a lesbian to kiss her? That could be hot..."

Director: "No, we are not bring in a lesbian: we are going to follow the fucking script, people, and there is nothing in the script about toothbrushing, flossing or lesbians. In the script it says you fuck her in the ass, she blows you, and then you kiss. Got it?"

Woody: "I think I lost my erection."

Director: "Woody, you did that on purpose!"

Brianna: "It looks like a sad little balloon..."

Director: OK, we'll film the kiss from the waist up..."

Brianna: "Can we hurry up, please? My mouth is starting to get vomit in it..."

Director: "Woody...?"

Woody: "Okay, okay: one quick kiss, but NO tongue. Got it?"

Director: All right! NOW we are making a MOVIE!"


I am Laslo.

FullMoon said...

Laslo@11:38
You forgot to post the link

mikeski said...

@Laslo -

"froggy style"

and

"[...]there is nothing in the script about toothbrushing, flossing or lesbians."

These are gold, Jerry. Gold.

Rocketeer said...

Over-liked? What the hell? Gustav Klimt is good. Gustav Klimt's The Kiss is good. Perhaps there are other works of art depicting a kiss that you like better, and that are not liked by as many (I like Canova's Psyche and Cupid myself), but "over-liked" is a pretty snotty and casually elitist thing to say. If it's an over-liked work of art, perhaps in this one instance it's because it's good.

What does "over-liked" even mean, now that I think about it? I point the finger of laziness here at you, not on students who may want something nice to hang on the dorm walls.

Mitch H. said...

The Person of Interest thing is the culmination of a lagniappe of an ongoing fanbase-teasing characterization thread. It punctuates a big action sequence that ends in one of the participants pulling a full-fledged Bolivian Army Ending. So I wouldn't call it earthshaking or wondermaking or particularly important in the big scheme of things. It's just the pay-off of a long-running flirtation, and unusual only in that PoI is a CBS procedural, albeit the most serialized and quietly sci-fi subversive procedural on that network. The impressive elements of the show have little to nothing to do with the fanservice - that has to do with surveillance paranoia, AI speculation, et cetera - but fanboys will flutter over their fanservice, it's what they do.

Marc in Eugene said...

The line from Aelfric reads, 'and I raised him to my kiss', i.e. the miraculously healed youth had knelt before the saint, who then raised him up and gave him the customary kiss of peace. I looked online of course but didn't spend enough time to figure out which saint that old windbag Aelfric was writing about.

Bob said...

It was this 23-second silent movie of two people kissing that began film censorship efforts.

Birches said...

I can't stop atching the Biden little girl gif.

Laslo Spatula said...

Doctor: "So Woody, what seems to be the problem?"

Woody: "I have a real bad pain in the back of my throat..."

Doctor: "Okay, let me swab that and take a look..."

Woody: "What do you see, Doctor?

Doctor: "Oh my."

Woody: "What is the problem?"

Doctor: "Ummmmm. Woody. Have you eaten someone's excrement in the last half-month?"

Woody: "Hell no, doctor, do you think I'm some kind of freak?"

Doctor: "It's just that you have Esophageal Fecal-itis."

Woody: "Esophageal Fecal-itis?"

Doctor: "You have ass-worms at the back of your throat."

Woody: "Oh God..."

Doctor: "I repeat: Have you eaten someone's excrement in the last half-month?"

Woody: "Well, I DID do an ATM scene in San Bernardino..."

Doctor: So: SOME kind of freak: noted..."

Woody: "It was in the script..."

Doctor: "It's Okay, we can solve this with some penicillin..."

Woody: "Really?"

Doctor: " Yes: it should reduce the swelling within seven-to-ten days."

Woody: "Thank God. And the ass worms?"

Doctor: I'm afraid that penicillin won't do anything about THAT."

Woody: "Oh God..."

Doctor: "Ass worms are meant to be in your ass: when they are in your throat they are up to seven-times-bigger --"

Woody: "--Nooooo--"

Doctor: "--and they are happy there. Whatever YOU eat, THEY eat."

Woody: "This can't be happening..."

Doctor: "It IS happening, Woody. Soon they will be eating into your brain, laying ass-worm babies..."

Woody: "NOOOOOO!"

Doctor: "Unless..."

Woody :Unless WHAT, doctor? Unless WHAT?"

Doctor: You can try to eat the shit of a young girl, and the ass-worms will find themselves drawn to THAT, and leave your throat."

Woody: "Can that work, Doctor?"

Doctor: "I have no idea: I'm making this up as you go along."

Woody: "I'm doomed, aren't I?"

Doctor: "Just give it some time: they'll work their way to your intestines and be excreted."

Woody: "I'm going to be Okay?

Doctor: "In your profession I think I will be seeing you again..."


I am Laslo.

Ann Althouse said...

@Marc Puckett

Thanks.

The old looking it up on line trick.

The Cracker Emcee Refulgent said...

Redneck foreplay:
"Get in the truck, bitch!"

AJ Ford said...

Don't Forget Bill Plympton's "How to Kiss"
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1bf5pa_bill-plympton-how-to-kiss-1988_fun

mikee said...

Kiss of Death seems left out.

Michael Corleone gave his brother Fredo a kiss that lasted the rest of Fredo's life.