September 23, 2015

“I don’t know, man. I went nuts. We didn’t know what the hell it was. It was scaring me to death, it was like a dinosaur. It was so ... ugly."

"That’s how he talks all the time. All he does is swear. He’s nuts... He was just spazzing out, and I’m just dying laughing."

Replacing pizza rat, it's... I don't know what that is.

ADDED: I'm reminded of the old SNL routine with Steve Martin and Bill Murray: "What the hell is that?"

25 comments:

cubanbob said...

From the photo he looks as stupid as he sounds. A poster boy for birth control pills.

Gahrie said...

Pizza rat was a rat walking around NY dragging a slice of pizza with it.

Ann Althouse said...

"From the photo he looks as stupid as he sounds. A poster boy for birth control pills."

When I first read that, I thought I was reading the comments on the next post, the one about the Dalai Lama.

tim in vermont said...

What shocked me was that he could find his way out into the ocean, actually be an ocean fisherman, and not know what an ocean sunfish was.

Though I did hear of a case where some seasoned fisherman were puzzled by an oarfish, and thought it was some kind of sea monster.

rehajm said...

"That's how he talks all the time"

That's how everyone from Malden talks all the time.

Freeman Hunt said...

The ocean is full of incredibly ugly (and beautiful) things. No amount of grostesquery in it should surprise.

MadisonMan said...

LOL at rehajm. It's so true!

That's a baby wheel!!

Ignorance is Bliss said...

Freeman Hunt said...

The ocean is full of incredibly ugly (and beautiful) things. No amount of grostesquery in it should surprise.

Anyone who's been to a Jersey beach during tourist season already knows this.

( Some of the fish can be pretty ugly too )

mikee said...

I grew up with Star Trek and learned not to hate on the weird looking aliens, because they might just be your best ally when the lovely but deadly ones decide to eat your brains.

Thanks, TV!

hombre said...

A brief, but lucid, illustration of the ruminations of a Kerry and Warren voter.

john said...

He guessed every fish name in the book except a minnow. He even called it a "Polish fucking monster", if I heard him right.

Titus said...

Malden is po-although the city is started to get some decent restaurants.

CJinPA said...

STREAM OF OBSCENITIES STREAM OF OBSCENITIES STREAM OF OBSCENITIES -- **WE GOTTA FUCKING HELP IT!** -- STREAM OF OBSCENITIES STREAM OF OBSCENITIES

Deep down, he's just a big-hearted fella.

madAsHell said...

I was walking across the U. of Washington athletic fields at dusk. A creek crosses between the fields. I noticed a black blob moving in the rushes by the creek. All sorts of explanations ran through my head....most are too embarrassing to share.

My concerns were dismissed, when I saw light reflect off the broad black shiny tail. It was a beaver.

Roughcoat said...

I admire Pizza Rat. I love Pizza Rat. I love him for his determination, his perseverance, his can-do attitude. We should have be as hard-working as he is. I love Pizza Rat.

Titus said...

People in the city of Boston don't talk like that.

The accent is more North/South Shore and are people with less education.

SteveBrooklineMA said...

"What the hell is that?!" is from 1979? Didn't think it was that old. Remember it fondly. Don't putchur' lips on it!

Anonymous said...

@Titus: "The accent is more North Shore." Absolutely not.

averagejoe said...

Titus said...
People in the city of Boston don't talk like that.
The accent is more North/South Shore and are people with less education.

9/23/15, 5:56 PM

Wrong. This guy talks like thousands of guys I've known all over Massachusetts, from the Cape to the Berkshires. But he doesn't talk like the proper Bostonians Titus hangs around with, that's for sure. Guys like this don't like guys like Titus anywhere near them.

American Liberal Elite said...

I worked in Malden for 20 years. Mr. Bergin is authentic.

Wince said...

One thing I noticed was the Hip-hop music in the background.

That's one of the most interesting changes in the Masshole culture over the last 40 years.

Used to be you'd associate them with "chase'n minoaties outta tha nabahood".

Now they have their hats on sideways listening to rap.

Not that they necessarily want one moving "next doah" or "impegnatin' ya sista".

wildswan said...

He's just a man lost to science, should have been a scientist. He sees something, nobody recognizes what it is, he doesn't just say "weird" and go back to his beer. He keeps circling around, shouting "What the hell is that?", speculating, trying theories.

Titus said...

I have friends in Revere, which is North Shore, and they sound like this guy.

Yes, I have friends in Boston/Cambridge.

But I was in drum corps and I have a large amount of friends from Everett, Revere, Winthrop, Saugus and they all sound exactly like this guy=but a little more polished-they have a college education.

On

tim in vermont said...

As a frequent visitor to Malden, I want to know where these "decent restaurants" are. Seems like we always end up in Cambridge(Brooklyn) or Boston (Manhattan)

tim in vermont said...

Though Revere Beach is still tops for fried clams. I am not sure the clams are objectively any better, but the immersive experience of eating them there is tops.