March 7, 2014

"Scientists have patented a new machine that will provide orgasms for women at the push of a button."

Electrodes would fit into the woman's spine and a signal generator would be implanted under the skin of a buttock. The inventor — a doctor who discovered the effect of the electrode on the spinal cord by accident — says the implantation is as invasive as getting a pacemaker.

1. Would you want to be able to have orgasms at the push of a button?

2. If you had a push-button orgasm device implanted inside you, how often would you push the button... on the first day... a week later... a year later?

3. Presumably that push-button orgasm capacity that requires a surgical operation as invasive as getting a pacemaker is a pretty unpleasant proposition, and in fact the inventor says it's only intended for women with the most serious of orgasmic dysfunctions, which I suppose means a woman who is never able to have an orgasm. That's not something that is going to kill you or ruin your health in any way. It is what it is. Since most of the time, one is not having an orgasm, a woman in the "most serious" condition is simply a woman who is always in the condition that everyone is nearly always in, the condition of not having an orgasm. But let's say you are a woman who finds herself permanently and chronically not having an orgasm. Would you submit to this operation? Consider that you need to be awake during the operation and the surgeon will poke around at your spinal cord with an electrode until he locates the spot that produces the orgasm.

55 comments:

RecChief said...

hey all you lady fish - here is your bicycle

RecChief said...

what happens if she gets drunk at a company party and some sadistic bastard in the mail room finds the push button device?

Meade said...

"But let's say you are a woman who finds yourself permanently and chronically not having an orgasm."

I'll have what she's [not] having.

Birkel said...

12 year old me would've had the surgery. It's better than going blind.

(Thank God for this braille laptop!)

richlb said...

Wasn't this a Richard Matheson short story?

Anonymous said...

Crap. Now there's another little button we've got to find.

lgv said...

Sounds like a Woody Allen movie is in the works.

lgv said...

I wonder if there is a limit switch, kind of like the morphine drip after surgery. At some point hitting the button every 5 seconds doesn't do anything.

Meade said...

Reference.

Guildofcannonballs said...

I always wanted to buy the house with the Orgasmatron in Woody Allen's Sleepers but that is for the view not the Orgasmatron. So, straight up, no I would not buy the machine much less have any surgery to put the (a) machine in me.

the house is down to around 2.5 million dollars I think. With a 240 year note I can swing it.

David said...

Call it David. I won't mind.

Nonapod said...

1. Would you want to be able to have orgasms at the push of a button?

Sure, why not?

2. If you had a push-button orgasm device implanted inside you, how often would you push the button... on the first day... a week later... a year later?

I suspect probably not more than a few times a day.

...Would you submit to this operation?

No, I would not want to have invasive surgery for that sort of thing.

David said...

"Consider that you need to be awake during the operation and the surgeon will poke around at your spinal cord with an electrode until he locates the spot that produces the orgasm."

Just fake not having an orgasm. That should confuse them.

Guildofcannonballs said...

http://www.bing.com/search?q=sleepers+house&form=APIPA1

Unknown said...

Someone ought to make a movie called "Brainstorm"

Meade said...

"Call it David. I won't mind."

No wonder the ladies all call David "The Pacemaker".

Ann Althouse said...

"Sure, why not?"

If it's instant and automatic, it would lose value. If you had a sexual partner, you might lose interest in having sex with him. All the details of having sex would be over there and the orgasm would be over here. That might be bad. Or, I guess you'd work out a way to be doing the usual things with your partner, taking all the time and trouble to get to the point where a natural orgasm would occur and then push the button. Maybe let him keep possession of the button.

Ann Althouse said...

Give it to Putin. The reset button.

KCFleming said...

I'd hack that.

Michelle Dulak Thomson said...

The idea of electrically stimulating the brain's "pleasure center" has been all over fiction for decades. Robin Cook used it in one of his early medical thrillers, I forget which. Larry Niven has his "wireheads," and also a nifty gizmo called a "tasp" by which you can do the same thing remotely, no surgery needed.

Me, I say ick. This falls into the category of "things I would definitely miss, but not enough to rate surgery."

OTOH, what of the near-100% of Egyptian and Somali women who have had clitoridectomies? There might be a place for such a technology.

Ann Althouse said...

You know, Dick Cheney had to worry that someone might hack into his pacemaker and give him a heart attack, so if someone did hack this orgasm device, it could cause tremendous anguish.

You know there was that woman who had a constant, continual orgasm, and it was terrible for her. I think she committed suicide.

Michael K said...

"If you had a sexual partner, you might lose interest in having sex with him. "

Do you know the difference between a real bank and a sperm bank ?

After making a deposit in one you lose interest.

Ann Althouse said...

"Florida woman Gretchen Molannen afflicted with rare sexual arousal disorder commits suicide/The 39-year-old had lived with persistent genital arousal disorder, which doctors say leaves women feeling stimulated sexually but not psychologically. Molannen had been struggling with it for 16 years."

Tom said...

Come again?

Ann Althouse said...

About that woman who committed suicide… it's specified that it was unpleasant to be physically but not psychologically stimulated, which is, I suspect, what this device does.

Maybe the doctor who invent this device could have figured out where her off-switch was, somewhere in the spinal cord.

Anonymous said...

Wait until they produce the male version.

What happens when hackers take control of it?

madAsHell said...

As is proceeding as Woody Allen foretold in "Sleeper"!!

Peter said...

This is just he beginning.

When comes the future, adults will have the option of having our brains wired so as to experience constant pleasure- of whatever intensity pleases us.

The drawback: Why achieve anything (let alone find someone you want to have sex with) when you can get more and better pleasure whenever you want it?

Of course, some will choose to live without this- they'll have to, for how else will they be supported?

(Not that the support will cost much- they can be warehoused and fed basic rations- what more would they want?)

O Brave New World ...

Rumpletweezer said...

Anybody else picturing the rat hitting the bar that's connected to the electrodes implanted in the pleasure center of his brain?

I'm apologizing in advance.

Guildofcannonballs said...

Drudge has a link about commenters on websites being angry, pathetic and abhorrently dull was my thought.

But the article specified anonymous comments, which is what I do. Though not really. It's a sheen of anonymity.

Which is enough.

Bob R said...

I can't find the old visual joke about the male and female libido - male has one switch, female has lots of dials, switches, buttons - but Althouse seems to be suggesting that it would be preferable if this invention had controls like the joke.

Tyrone Slothrop said...

Oh, come now.

Guildofcannonballs said...

I have found domestic violence humorous since being exposed to Jackie Gleeson.

"To the moon" he would say as I was laughing.

"One of these days... Right in the kisser!" his line read as we laughed.

Titus said...

At way age are women unable to splew or get an orgasm?

Also, what is vagina juice made out of?

Titus said...

"If you had a sexual partner, you might lose interest in having sex with him. "

duh

Guildofcannonballs said...

Within my psyche lies, so deep, problems needing an electric orgasm to overcome I believe not.

But in the Internet there exists those who need such things and God Bless individuals producing such things to the extent they save or improve lives.

Unless someone gets rich.

Then I support 2.3% here, there, everywhere tax penalty levies.

cassandra lite said...

"Ho-hummmmmmmmmmm"

Titus said...

When men buy hardon pills are they to just get hard or does it allow them to blow a load too?

Is like a two fer? You get hard and blow too.

What fun would it be to get a hardon and not climax milky hot sperm?

chuck said...

Well, it could probably be used to train women to eat dogfood. Science in action.

dbp said...

"Since most of the time, one is not having an orgasm, a woman in the "most serious" condition is simply a woman who is always in the condition that everyone is nearly always in, the condition of not having an orgasm."

Let's not completely discount a post-coital period known as "afterglow".

Anonymous said...

We warned that this sort of thing would happen if the Democrats legalized dildos.

The Godfather said...

In addition to Brave New World, a novel by Gary Jennings called The Journeyer, a fictionalized version of Marco Polo's journey to Cathay, has a scene in which a bad guy is caused to masturbate himself to death.

The book is available from Amazon through the Althouse portal, and I recommend it. Not just for the masturbation scene.

Unknown said...

But....
will the machine call you the next day?

sinz52 said...

"What fun would it be to get a hardon and not climax milky hot sperm? "

Due to a botched prostate surgery, I already have that problem.

It's called "retrograde ejaculation." On orgasm, the semen is ejaculated backwards into the bladder.

mccullough said...

I guess I'll just have to work around their patent.

Bruce Hayden said...

I don't know how many time I have seen the Sleeper house. So often that I rarely notice it. It sits off a ridge south of I-70 west of Denver, right after the bison overlook. 20 years ago, we were by the turnoff for it almost every night, as we drove my kid around trying to get them to sleep. It sits about halfway between where my father and next brother live. But, for a long time, it was mostly a shell, with not much inside - but at that point, I think that you could have bought it for half of what it is selling for now.

Bruce Hayden said...

I guess I'll just have to work around their patent.

I'm in the business, so let me know if you want a non-infringement opinion.

Dagwood said...

So what happens if an implantee gets too close to a microwave?

Titus said...

what does cooch juice taste like?

I am thinking vinegar with a hint of perch.

Titus said...

and salty and seaweedish and perhaps a hint of lemon, a dash of thyme and a smidgen of piss.

Titus said...

Also, when a woman blows her load how much cums out and how does it cum out?

It is like all at once like a geyser or a steady dripple like a leaky weaky sink?

Is a gallon of vajay juice possible in one load?

Could you drown while eating pussy?

William said...

There are a few bugs to be ironed out, but this shows much more promise than medical marijuana.

Big Mike said...

A fatwa is coming against these scientists from those Muslims who perform clitorectomies on young girls in ... 3 ... 2 ...

rhhardin said...

"[I]n this sense voluptuosity begins already in erotic desire and remains desire at each instant. Voluptuosity does not come to gratify desire; it is this desire itself. This is why voluptuosity is not only impatient, but is impatience itself, breathes impatience and chokes with impatience, surprised by its end, for it goes without going to an end."

Levinas, Totality and Infinity, p.260

You need the desire for its ending to make sense.

Titus said...

Can you get sick from vagay juice, similar to sour milk?

I would like to hear the calls into the boner pill complaint customer service rep line.