January 10, 2010

"I have a refrigerator in the garage. He opened it up, drank a gallon of orange juice, opened the freezer above and munched two frozen pizzas and snacked on frozen chicken."

"He broke all the shelves and racks out of the refrigerator, bit into some fruit punch and squirted it all over everywhere, then dragged the trash can outside and took a crap the size of a basketball on the front lawn."

A very large bear. He's not going to kill you. He just breaks in and raids the refrigerator. And takes a crap the size of a basketball on the front lawn.

48 comments:

vbspurs said...

A very large bear. He's not going to kill you. He just breaks in and raids the refrigerator. And takes a crap the size of a basketball on the front lawn.

I'm really trying not to think of Ted Kennedy here. Too soon.

J. Cricket said...

Anyone dumping as much crap on a daily basis as Althouse does *would* be fascinated by this story.

Don't worry, professor. The bear doesn't have a blog!!

vbspurs said...

OT: Now the Boston Globe is saying that Coakley is ripping into Scott Brown by 15 POINTS. I don't know what to believe anymore.

Moose said...

Jeez louise!

Shooting at a bear that size with a .30-.30 or a 44 magnum is ridiculous. Better use a .44 Marlin minimum, 12 gauge with slugs or something in a .300 mag.

Fred4Pres said...

That bear has appetites like Bill Clinton.

Steve Pierson said...

Got a sense of humor, George? Apparently not ...

LonewackoDotCom said...

Far-left: "The bear is just exacting payback for his Oppression by Speciesists!"

Liberal: "Let's all leave food out for the bear and have a drum circle to invite him to share with us."

Standard R/W: "That bear and the other bears are a threat to our community, and we at the Americans for the Freedom to Build Condos will give you a free lunch if you join the posse to hunt all of them down."

Teapartier: "The BEAR is a COMMUNIST pushing BHO's CLOWARDPIVEN strategy! MARXIST! COMMUNIST! TROTSKYITE!!!!"

showbiz111 said...

This blogpost is just another example of specist ursism. This creature was just an undocumented bearlien of that home and did what many undocumented bearliens are wont to do. It was most likely due to the fact that we have not provided undocumented bearliens with the right to vote, that this creature exercised his/her First Amendment Rights in a performance art protest sculpture on the front lawn against the right wingnut teabag owners of the home. /huffpo

Derve Swanson said...

MMmmmm... Barbeque Bear Meat.

Wince said...

Upon reading that headline and the first paragraph, it so closely resembles my daily ritual that I was overcome by the feeling I always get when I realize that EDH has just garnered an Althouse tag!

Not-too-shabby.

And then the disappointment set in ;)

El Presidente said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpwdcmjBgNA

somefeller said...

Does a bear shit in the woods? No, the bastard shit in my yard!

Fred4Pres said...

Has anyone asked Charles Barkley where he has been when these breakins occurred? Because he looks like he has been raiding a few refrigerators himself.

Wince said...

vbspurs said...
OT: Now the Boston Globe is saying that Coakley is ripping into Scott Brown by 15 POINTS. I don't know what to believe anymore.

Notice the poll was taken Jan 2-6. Things are moving quickly since then.

In the Globe’s attempt to manage expectations, hopefully they will inadvertently succeed in making Coakley's supporters complacent.

It will be about turnout in a special election, and I think that's why the polls vary so much.

Unknown said...

vbspurs said...

A very large bear. He's not going to kill you. He just breaks in and raids the refrigerator. And takes a crap the size of a basketball on the front lawn.

I'm really trying not to think of Ted Kennedy here. Too soon.


No, it's not. We're all in a tizzy over 1 Senate seat because of the "Let's do it for Ted" Act.

EDH said...

vbspurs said...
OT: Now the Boston Globe is saying that Coakley is ripping into Scott Brown by 15 POINTS. I don't know what to believe anymore.

Notice the poll was taken Jan 2-6. Things are moving quickly since then.


Also, ask yourself how far in the tank the Globe must be to do business in Baaston. In other words, how rigged could the poll be?

(Do Carr and Crittenden write for the Globe?)

WV "epurg" What you need to to after visiting Kos or Puffington.

Ron said...

If only Sullivan had just done this instead of what he normally does!

bagoh20 said...

The Globe poll is earlier (nearly a week) than the PPP one that shows a dead heat. The globe also over-polled Dems at 55% and Indies at only 17% Should be an interesting race, no matter who wins.

Thanks lonewacko, for the trip down cliche street in the fine state of stereotype, USA.

Fence sitters always trivialize there opponents too, they just do it twice a much.

bagoh20 said...

Spell checkers cannot help everyone.

vbspurs said...

The globe also over-polled Dems at 55% and Indies at only 17% Should be an interesting race, no matter who wins.

I do care if Brown wins, but I have to tell you, Bagoh, it's a victory for Republicans that Scott Brown is THIS close even now. Think about it -- in MASSACHUSSETTS, for a vacant KENNEDY Senate seat.

bagoh20 said...

Yea, I know vbspurs. I even sent Brown a contribution FROM L.A.!

Dust Bunny Queen said...

MMmmmm... Barbeque Bear Meat.

MMmmmmm Trichinosis

Actually, the bear might just kill you if you get between it and the free lunch in the fridge.

vbspurs said...

I only sent $10. My credit card cheque has hit yet. :(

But on Monday, I'll send more! Maybe $100. Click here to donate if you want, guys.

vbspurs said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
vbspurs said...

Actually, the bear might just kill you if you get between it and the free lunch in the fridge.

Remember?

(A post-mortem photo allegedly of Timothy Treadwell, "Grizzly Man", so not for the faint of heart)

Wince said...

(Do Carr and Crittenden write for the Globe?)

Nope, the tabloid-style Boston Herald.

Carr calls the Globe the "Boring Broadsheet," written by "bow-tied bum kissers" for politcal "rump-swabs" and "moonbats."

bagoh20 said...

I included a note saying: "We out in L.A. know the outcome of liberal rule."

And we do. I came to California a liberal in 1981 and watched liberals completely transform this state from a mecca for business an free-living types alike into a government controlled pile of crap that supports nothing else but government jobs and even those can no longer be paid for. Thanks guys, well done. Lets try the whole country now. Needless to say living with liberals up close turned me into a conservative. I tired of slumming in the ghetto of failed ideas.

Kensington said...

Good for the bear! Times are tough, and he's gotta eat.

wv: keysia. A steady diet of frozen pizza and orange juice is the keysia for regular, basketball sized bowel movements.

LonewackoDotCom said...

bagoh20: I'm sorry you disapprove, and I'll try to meet your high standards in the future. I admit the second one could use some work, and for the 'partiers I forgot to mention their plan to get together and wave loopy signs at the bear.

Maybe my longer works would approach your high standards.

As for California, a lot of people like to ignore the elephant in the room in order to push the fantastical dream of everyone agreeing with their agenda, but I'm sure you aren't one of them.

Big Mike said...

He's not going to kill you.

But he's not afraid of humans, so the proper way to phrase the above is "so far he hasn't killed anyone."

Yet.

Johanna Lapp said...

The important thing is, The System Worked. If we get all wee-weed up, the bear will have won.

bagoh20 said...

Lonewacko said: "Maybe my longer works would approach your high standards"

Yea, well see that's the problem first impressions, If you blow it, you go home alone.

I don't even have to click the link about the elephant in the room. I know it's immigration. Although that is a big problem it is also for Texas which is doing infinitely better than California, with the clear difference being the size and liberalness of the government.

California's mistakes are almost identical to the ones being created by this congress and administration federally.

LonewackoDotCom said...

For the two of you who have ever heard of "bagoh20" before, here's a recent example of how well immigration is treating Texas, and here's just one older example. It's easier to understand what the first means, but the second is in some ways even worse: far-lefties with divided loyalties have wormed themselves into positions of power, and are going to make the problem discussed at the first link even worse.

Don't listen to the "bagoh20" types; they don't have the U.S.'s best interests at heart.

Miles White said...

For a second there, I almost thought this post was going to be about Michael Moore.

Anonymous said...

I guess we gotta change our queston. Is no longer do bears shit in the woods, is now what size poop do bears shit in the woods.

Really funny story, lol like mad here bekuz am thinking this bear would make a nice coat for the mini ice age coming pon us.

Anonymous said...

Somebody oughta give Sarah Palin a shout out.

Opus One Media said...

Ya' betcha! Juba.

MadisonMan said...

I'm left wondering why someone has a refrigerator in their garage. It's a long way to walk from the kitchen if you need something.

I have often wondered: if you have all that extra freezer space/fridge space, and you fill it with sale items, are you really saving money when you factor in the costs of maintaining an inventory at home? This is the same question I ask whenever I read the inane coupon-saver column in the sunday paper here, which invariably is telling me to buy 12-15 boxes of cereal when it goes on sale. Yeah, right -- I'll just stick it in my warehouse out back :)

Derve Swanson said...

This is the same question I ask whenever I read the inane coupon-saver column in the sunday paper here, which invariably is telling me to buy 12-15 boxes of cereal when it goes on sale. Yeah, right -- I'll just stick it in my warehouse out back :)

Take it out of the box and just the vacuum packed bags. Stuff in a top cupboard -- like over the fridge. Cereals keep a long time.

The fridge in the garage is for overstock, I'm guessing. Not daily meals. If the appliances are energy efficient, you indeed can save a great deal buying sales, and not driving to the store every week or two.

Especially if your family/household is large, and you routinely consume the same products like Cheerios.

Derve Swanson said...

ps. Don't knock it till you tried it MM. Probably more people don't keep a thrifty lifestyle because they don't like others snarky criticism that they are cheap.

And the snark probably comes from the realization of how much money trickles unnecessarily out of your own fingers. (?)

MadisonMan said...

My snark is mostly directed at the Editor of the newspaper who decided to run with the coupon-saver-promoter's column, as she says the same thing every week, just with different words. I suppose I should admire her ability to extract money from a Newspaper editor who needs to fill space that he/she can't fill with ads.

It's the same thing with Parents' magazines that I read in the Pediatrician's office. They say the same thing about toddlers today that they said 10-15 years ago, and I'm always left wondering: Did the person who wrote the article just lift all the information from a decade-old article and get paid for it because the editor is new, or did the editor run the old article, sending another check to the original author?

Dust Bunny Queen said...

I have often wondered: if you have all that extra freezer space/fridge space, and you fill it with sale items, are you really saving money when you factor in the costs of maintaining an inventory at home?

Depends on how often you rotate the supply and if you have a newer energy efficient freezer.

If you just use your freezer or extra refrigerator as a holding pen..no..you aren't saving money. We just use a regular upright freezer. No extra fridge.

It also depends on how you purchase. We buy in bulk directly from the grower. Half a beef. An entire hog. Half a lamb (hubby doesn't care for lamb). Vacuum seal the cuts and repeat next year.

Go to Costco once a quarter and purchase in bulk things like chicken, sausages.

Freeze the flour, cornmeal, polenta etc to avoid weevils.

We are also fortunate in that we can use our pump house as a cold room for produce and don't need to use the refigerator.

It can be cost effective as long as you use the stuff. After all...it isn't a savings account.

Derve Swanson said...

MM: If you find it worth your time and trouble in your own location, try it. Just remember, do it for yourself, and your own satisfaction.

Nobody much likes a competitive saver, and some people can turn anything into a comparative pursuit.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

MM: If you find it worth your time and trouble in your own location, try it. Just remember, do it for yourself, and your own satisfaction.

@ Mary and MM. This is true. In some locations it just makes sense to buy in bulk. (Like my situation, where the closest 'large' or big box store is a 150 mile round trip.)

I'm guessing the guy in the story with the bear snacking on his garage refrigerator is in the same situation.

If you live in an apartment and the store is just around the corner, not much need to get anal about storing food.

Although, I'm a firm believe that you should have at least 2 to 3 weeks of food in your home.

Derve Swanson said...

If you live in an apartment and the store is just around the corner, not much need to get anal about storing food.

I rent in town, and still shop and store. More anal about the savings budget than having the food on hand.

The Haier small chest freezer was a thought when I had a lot of garden produce this year, and my friend got an 8-pt. buck processed.

(Game is good meat: bear too, if you cook it fully and like the oils. Not some special NYT diet here -- you just save a lot taking the meat purchases out of the budget.)

Bruce Hayden said...

Haven't been through Incline Village since last summer when we took the back (i.e. Lake) way to visit clients in Truckee. A bit off the beaten track.

Amazing that the bear is still alive, and not all that aggressive, given how many times he has been shot.

That reminds me of a nature program I was watching last year. They had a bear in a ski area that was getting more and more aggressive about coming in close to humans. He was found, for example, in a pool in a condo complex. I thought it looked a bit familiar, and then knew where they were when the Sheriff's vehicle that responded said "Douglas County" - my office is about 3 blocks north of the court house and jail.

The bear finally was caught in someone's house, and ultimately destroyed. The lift towers were at Heavenly Valley, which we can see from the office, and I was by there yesterday.

Unfortunately, they really need to destroy that big one that is up the lake at Incline Village. He comes in too close to people, and it is just a matter of time until he hurts, or more likely kills, someone.

Big Mike said...

@Bruce, I agree with your conclusion. City folk forget that to bears and mountain lions, we're food.

BJM said...

The only thing worse than rogue bears at Tahoe are City cougars.

Sokmnkee said...

Orange juice and pizza sound like a gastrointestinal nightmare. Poor bear! Bet he needed a Pepcid AC AND an Immodium Advanced!